Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Bacon with a Butter Garnish

Oi, I've been a terrible blogger.

I like to think I'm a mostly harmless sort of person. That's not to say I won't retaliate harder than "Safe From Harm" should the situation arise, but rather that I don't really mean to be offensive.

Now, I suppose you're wondering, "why didn't you just say that in the first place?" To tell the truth, I don't really know. Probably because I wanted to talk about how I retaliate harder then "Safe From Harm" which is probably a sign I'm a collection of fetid, rusty artificical legs (useless and stinky), but I stand by my choice.

Where was I again? Oh, yeah.

I tell a lot of jokes that are in questionable taste. But, I mean, who doens't find that one about walking on babies HEE-LARIOUS? I don't know, I always worry that somebody will not realize I'm kidding when I make a chink joke and my fate will be sealed, sealed I tell you!

I never get tired of getting asked what I think about the Current (competing public radio station run by the evil empire itself: Minnesota Public Radio). By, "never get tired of," I mean, "stop asking me, you fools!" I don't know, how would you feel if someone made a richer, lamer, and greedier version of you?

I guess the only thing I love more than being asked about how it makes me feel or what I think of it is hearing about how my friends gave it money. Thanks guys. Hey! I know! Let's go find a person who wants to kill me, except they don't have any bullets. Then, you can hook the cash up to buy them said ammunition because, hell, that'll be faster than funding the people taking money out of my pocket.

Or, hey, maybe you could support the station that does what that lame-ass pile of wealth claims to do. Seriously, give people a softer, more accessible version of what they say they want and instead of complaining, they eat it up. I'm sorry Radio K actually plays that variety you keep saying you're after. I'm sorry my poor little station plays that edgy stuff you claim to be all about.

Bitches.

-Thomas

8 Comments:

Blogger Noah said...

Just the other day I was thinking of asking you what you thought of the current. And then I made up what I expected would be your answer and left it at that.

You're much more inoffensive in real (by real, I clearly mean internet) life than in my imagination.

So, in conclusion, I think your post is self-descriptive.

Oh, and if you happen to want to see me, I'll be in Wilson's Annex or the ordinary basement most of tomorrow (Thursday).

5:11 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger T Kwong said...

Wait, the magical Wilson Library?

I shall attempt to visit with you, sir!

-Thomas

5:23 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger Jack said...

Ha ha, you and the Current oughta don capes and go at it old school style, fisticuffsmanship and brawlencery! Brass knuckles, chipped teeth! Knock down, drag out! Put your mouth where your money lie and go beat it up!

Auieceoj! (Famous Australian exclamation,used as way to identify flying Koala attacks)

10:49 PM, January 25, 2006  
Blogger marie said...

I suggest Russian Roulette

2:33 AM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger Noah said...

Way to show up, no show.

6:22 PM, January 26, 2006  
Blogger T Kwong said...

Dude, I was totally there. I spent 4:45 to 5:15 looking all over that damn basement.

Damn it! I needed a good Jew joke blast and to talk to you about Israeli politics and Iran and Bush and crap. Accurses!

K would take the Current no problem.

-Thomas

8:23 AM, January 27, 2006  
Blogger Noah said...

Shoot - I should have made clear that all day means 8AM through 3PM.

12:38 PM, January 27, 2006  
Blogger T Kwong said...

That's not all day. That's a large chunk of the day.

-Thomas

1:10 PM, January 27, 2006  

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