I've Got the Ultimate One-Up for Such Conversations with Straight Men, Bisexual Men, Bisexual Women, and Lesbians

An Open Letter to All of Humanity

Dear All of Humanity:

Don't buy old people internet access. They don't really need it or want it and all it does is make technical support people eradicate their entire genetic line in hopes of eliminating incompetence from the human gene pool.

They're going to die soon anyway, don't make people like me suffer because you think it would be cute if grandma or grandpa could send emails.

Mr. Thomas Kwong.

I'm not kidding. Well, maybe about the mass murder bit, but not by much.

-Thomas