Why Don't You Trip on a Helmet and Die
Bikers are the untouchables of this city. I don't mean the jerks on motorcycles (they're just as bad as the cars), I mean cyclists. Bikes aren't allowed on sidewalks and people always scream at you when you dodge around them because you're going faster. That's fine by me, but then again, cars and other motorized vehicles hate you in the road. So where are we supposed to go again?
I mean, why hate on bikers? We don’t obey traffic signals all the time because vehicles not only don't look for you, they're determined not to care if they do see you. People turn in front of us constantly, and why, you ask? Mostly because cars go faster and therefore get to go first apparently. Look, I'm going to become a fucking cyclist guerilla if one more car tries to kill me. I've had beer/pop bottles thrown at me, obscenities spit, insults hurled, birds flown, and I'm tired of this shit. I'm going to go back to breaking tail lights if this doesn't get better.
Here's my solution (I'm not just whining, honest, I have an answer): bikers get lanes everywhere, at least until drivers learn to share; to quote my cousin, "just as I respect the pedestrians right to the sidewalk, please respect my right to the road."
Do you hear me, Twin Cities? Then shape up, damn it.
-Thomas
I mean, why hate on bikers? We don’t obey traffic signals all the time because vehicles not only don't look for you, they're determined not to care if they do see you. People turn in front of us constantly, and why, you ask? Mostly because cars go faster and therefore get to go first apparently. Look, I'm going to become a fucking cyclist guerilla if one more car tries to kill me. I've had beer/pop bottles thrown at me, obscenities spit, insults hurled, birds flown, and I'm tired of this shit. I'm going to go back to breaking tail lights if this doesn't get better.
Here's my solution (I'm not just whining, honest, I have an answer): bikers get lanes everywhere, at least until drivers learn to share; to quote my cousin, "just as I respect the pedestrians right to the sidewalk, please respect my right to the road."
Do you hear me, Twin Cities? Then shape up, damn it.
-Thomas
posted by T Kwong at 8:14 AM
3 Comments:
Neh, I think that the whole thing is overblown. Just ride in the middle of the road and ignore cars' desire to pass you. That's what I do. And I don't obey any traffic signs. Because I don't have to.
Also, don't just smash tail lights, slash tires!
"I smash tail-lights and shove knifes into tires./ If I can't make you listen,/I'll at get you all riled."
Too bad he wasn't talking about biking. I try to ignore cars, but they do the same to me, and they have more momentum.
-Thomas
Bastard momentumerizors.
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