Friday, March 10, 2006

We Got Eggs and Toilet Paper and a Hate that Needs Diffusing

Strange and "new" things seem to happen all the time. I say "new" because it isn't really new (i.e. it just came into being) as much as it is new to me.

I was biking home from St. Paul last night. It's late, dark, and nippy as hell. It was one of those rides where you find yourself being able to actually take your full lane as entitled to all bikes in Minnesota, the road stretching out, unencumbered by the hulking wretches that clutter it throughout the day. Part of this miraculous freedom to swerve back and forth across all four lanes has to do with St. Paul going to bed as of 9:00 PM, but I always find myself giggling when I'm up late enough to enjoy the post-apocalyptic peace of an empty street. Perhaps this is due more to my pent up childhood giddiness of staying up late, my fondness for late-night antics that occur in such conditions, or it's possible I just love speeding through areas I normally have to fight tooth and nail to get through safely.

Anyway, the joy of night-haunting is not my focus here, rather a particular incident that occurred due to such activity.

Last night I was speeding down a long downhill street and got to a freeway overpass. As I approach, I grumble as the light shifts from green to red. Now, normally, I'd have to wait for the light to change due to traffic, but as I peer around I realize that nobody is even close to the intersection, so I shift back up and blare through the red light.

Before I go any further I should note that ignoring traffic regulation devices is a tried and true biking tradition, one that I'm quite proud to carry on (when vehicles follow the laws that apply to me and I'll start following traffic laws). That said: I am well aware that I am technically breaking the law, and, therefore, I fear the wrath of the policia. Back to our story, already in progress:

I'm flying through the intersection and all of the sudden I see these bright flashes of light. Everyone has had one of those moments when adrenaline hits and everything slows to a crawl; well with those flashes of light all I could think was, "fuck... busted..." I sit up in my seat and turn around, expecting to see the hurtling form of one everyone's least favorite government-funded vehicles. Instead I'm greeted by the dimming flashbulb of a red-light photo cops.

Grinning like a complete idiot, I race through the final set of lights for the overpass (also red), cackling like a six-year old who just pulled off their first successful whoopy cussioning.

Although I do have one question: can get prints of those?



Blogger Noah said...

You're awesome.

4:38 PM, March 10, 2006  
Blogger Jack said...

Hee hee.

6:14 PM, March 12, 2006  

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