Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Spitting and Shaking

Meeting people is always weird for me. Oh, I can be conversational and get along fine, but half the time I wonder if either of us will really give a shit in about two minutes. Sometimes it works, but often it's just a draining experience where I end up questioning my ability to communicate effectively, which isn't to say I expect to be everyone's new best friend, but, rather, that I anticipate a permanent awkwardness.

To elaborate further: I always seem to remember faces, names, and sometimes I'll remember them together. I'll see people I had class with two years ago who I haven't spoken to since that I was class-buddies with. Whenever it happens, I'm never sure if I should say something; I usually just keep going unless they say something.

The other day the above incident happened, but (as I am constantly over-analyzing everything I do) I decided to stop being foolish and say something. Now, I hadn't had class with this dude in about a good year, but I said, "hey," and proceeded to attempt a brief re-connect.

Result: massive weird vibes and general uncomfortable-ness.

Normally, one could walk away from this experience with a negative lesson, but really, all friendships are formed with repeated awkward encounters repeated until they become less awkward and they're actually enjoyable.

I figure it was just the guy and me walking up out of nowhere. Case in point: random people I met a long time ago and haven't seen since have been just fine.

I still get a weird feeling when I first meet people, though. I'm pretty sure it isn't anxiety, no, it's more like shaking someone's hand is so routine, that can't help but wonder if it's really any form of connection at all. Maybe we're better off spitting on each other.

No that would just be gross.



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