Saturday, April 09, 2005

No, He's Real, Your Parents Just Feel Sorry That You're Not Getting Christmas Gifts

I had the most devious set of friends when I was in elelmentary school. Pranks - stealing of pudding cups, sand down the pants, whoopee cushions, snap gum packs, snakes in cans, jumping out into an empty hallway and scaring the shit out of people, tripping, and bike seat thefts to name a few - and terrible comments like the above were common. The thing is: none of really thought anything of it. Everytime someone would say something that would have been fairly horrible if it had been serious, we'd all burst into peals of childish glee and go back to our choclate milk.

Warping nature of the hallway thing aside (I still look over my shoulder a lot), this was all normal and benign. Yet, everytime I tell people the Santa Claus line, something I still think is hilarious, I get horrified looks and, "You guys were what? Six? Seven?"

I'm not that crazy, right?

-Thomas

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brilliant. Fucking Brilliant.

1:29 PM, April 09, 2005  
Blogger Jack said...

Ah, chocolate milk. Ambrosia of the six year old.

2:25 PM, April 10, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ambrosia of all of us, I feel.

6:19 PM, April 10, 2005  
Blogger Jack said...

Once ambrosia, always ambrosia.

10:21 PM, April 10, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That isn't true - it turns to vinegar eventually. But, uh, ambrosia vinegar. It's like balsamic, only better.

6:09 AM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger T Kwong said...

Choclate milk and pudding cups join together to form a super-powered dynamo not unlike the Wonder Twins.

-Thomas

6:44 AM, April 11, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

shouldn't you be on the radio? I mean, I'm listening to you right now.

7:14 AM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger Jack said...

Not unlike, but certainly not like. The rings would chip your teeth.

11:59 AM, April 11, 2005  
Blogger T Kwong said...

Noah- No... I don't know what you're talking about...

J- The rings would chip your teeth, but you can still shout, "ACTIVATE!"

-Thomas

2:00 PM, April 11, 2005  

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