Saturday, April 08, 2006

Communication is a Joke

Dear Jackass that stole my bike seat:

Was it really necessary to steal the entire bracket and bolt assembly too? May your blood cells go sickle and rend your pathetic veins into ribbons. May your fat liquify and boil in your body. May your remaining flesh decay so rapidly the final sensation you have left on the earth is the scent of your own worthless self dying. Finally: I wish your bones shatter simultaneously, ripping to shreds any nearby loved ones.

Thomas Kwong

I am so full of hate.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

should I be afraid for my life? I didn't steal your bike seat, but I am going out with you tonight...

3:51 PM, April 08, 2006  
Blogger T Kwong said...

Nah, the wrath only applies to those that stole my bike seat.

So, you'd be fine.


4:03 PM, April 08, 2006  
Blogger Jack said...

I will sign any petition that goes towards this person getting those things done to them. I'll sign IN BLOOD.

4:26 PM, April 08, 2006  
Blogger Jesse said...

First my pedals, then your seat. Piece by piece they are building a frankenbike. Soon they will bring it to life and it will rampage through Minneapolis, swearing vengeance upon its creator. Its blood debt must be paid!

1:42 AM, April 09, 2006  
Blogger T Kwong said...

Jack: Your support is appreciated I'm drafting the papers tommorow.

Jesse: Will it go on a blood-soaked rampage or just the regular kind? Because I think blood-debt-carrying-fraken-monster would save his blood-soaked rampage for it's creator.

Also, I've built fraken bikes for people, does that mean I will one day e ripped to sreds by four bikes crying out, "WE SHOULDN'T BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" because that's something I should try to prepare for?

Lzmqlifr! Liquifying laser of Bloxorian Empire. It's everything you'd want in a home-warfare system.


10:40 AM, April 09, 2006  
Blogger marie said...

I got hit by a car yesterday.

It was pretty sweet.
And by 'pretty sweet,' I mean I'm going to buy a helmet asap.

2:43 PM, April 13, 2006  

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