It's Good in Pancakes When You're Starving in the Woods

I get a lot of spam. Not in the disgusting, canned-food way, but in the shitty, fill my inbox kind of way. It's not that I've done anything, really, it's just the email I have from Radio K is publicly posted, it’s linked to my normal email, and, thus, these things are to be expected.

I’m not trying to bitch, here, it’s just that the spam seems to come and go in waves. It's like there's a trend among spammers and it rotates. So for most of the summer (when I first got the job), I got a lot of porn and penis size messages. Later, as fall approached, prescription drugs were all the rage. Everyday, I had at least twelve offers to get me cheap painkillers or their equivalents. During the fall/early winter, I kept getting offers for Rolexes (real and replica!). Lately, what's hot in the spam world appears to be stuff about my cum dribbling out and surprising my girlfriend with my huge cumshot.

I'm forecasting a shift towards credit-card fraud soon.

Now, their was always a little of each mixed in at any given point (except for the Rolexes and the cum-dribbling, that's just singular), I've always had credit card fraud offers and prescription pills flying in from, "Canada," to my inbox, but there is stretches of dominance of one slick deal over the other.

I guess I just don't understand the cycle. Is there a plan to it? Does some lawsuit change what's popular? How much thought goes into these things?

Also, random words strung together at the bottom of spam messages make hi-larious beat poetry-esque ramblings. I'm thinking about recording someone reading them and messing around with them.

-Thomas