Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Fuck Potatoes

I'm a Bio-Based Products Marketing and Management major. Basically a renaming and refocussing of the business-centered part of the Wood and Fiber Science major program. This means I'm in sweet classes talking about the properties of wood and in particular identifying wood (I'm not kidding, this is interesting to me). One particular type of cedar - Alaskan Yellow Cedar, if you must know - looks and smells exactly like raw potatoes.

This isn't a big deal, it makes it easy to identify (and when your tests are, "here's a bag full of wood, tell me what each piece is," that's sweet), but it has made me hate potatoes. The thing is: I used to like potatoes a lot, but for some reason smelling them every week for hours on end has made me not too keen on eating them baked, mashed, or scalloped; predictably fried varients are okay.

I hate getting tired/sick of things. What a great psychological mechanism. Hey! I really like this, but, oh, wait, no, it's boring. I guess it'd be nice if some things were immune; especially the trinity of: food, sex, and masturbation. I guess the last two are kind of the same, but I'm going to pretend they're not and if you think otherwise, then you can just be wrong.

Thankfully, I don't work in a chicken soup factory.


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Why You Always Talking About Tits, Man?

Okay, so raw hillarity aside I can't realy understand it. The marketing just seems all wrong.

I can't really say it's suprising, but I still can't get over, "... the deal reflects the popularity of hip-hop among young people." Gold, gold, gold.

I can't wait for the Big Mac summer jams.


Thursday, March 24, 2005

Pirate King

I always felt sorry for Captain Hook.

I'm walking around, on my way to class, and I found a comic book. Now we're not talking some graphic novel or anything remotely culturally rewarding. No it was a Kraft Macaroni and Cheese newspaper-quality colored advertisement for twenty-five pages. The thing is: as trashy useless, soul-sucking promotionals go, this one was actually worth scooping up off the ground.

Cheese dinasours, flying pirate ships, teddy bears with super-powers, cat supervillains, cheese-obssessed masterminds, this is some fucked up shit right here, which is an odd way of saying, "suh-weet." I couldn't stop laughing at this thing. Not only was it blatantly commerical, it was so wickedly absurd that I had to read it all.

I still don't know if the person(s) who designed/wrote this were just cracked out, or just suppressed genious(es) in the cogs of the giant Phillip-Morris Corporation.

Excuse me, Altria Group.

Survey says bowls destroy cones and bowl and cone wins all.


Monday, March 21, 2005


So, somehow, in all my news addiction, I missed that George Kennan died last Thursday. Kennan, in case you didn't know (and that's not to be arogant, it's just a lot of people don't know), was the analyst that created the containment docterine of the Cold War, believing that Soviet Union would eventually have to realease its hold on its polace and open up to the rest of the world.

I've never really known exactly how to feel about the guy. On one hand his ideas were the ationalization for the Korean War, the Vietnam War, atrocities in South America, and the list goes on and on. So if we would hold Kissenger to the stake, should we really spare the man who gave the intellectual ground work for the policy?

That said: Kenan vigorously oppsed both Vietnam and Korea. He said that America should do that example thing.

I guess it comes down to: do we hate the man or the people who twisted his ideas?


Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Fuck 'Em Up, Hang 'Em High (Hate the Player, Hate the Game)

I wish I didn't have to pay for samples.

Actually, I was going to talk about something else, but I've decided to rant on copyrights.

Copyright and other intellectual property protections are a good idea. However, in practice they have become a little too protected. Liscensing fees for commercials is one thing, but if I just want to manipulate it and put it over a phat beat, wouldn't it be better if I just, I didn't have to pay, especially if I'm manipulating it further? I'm not advocating for out and out theft, but, rather, a policy of openess. Ask permission, don't have to pay; manipulate and you don't even have to ask.

I guess this is more against corporate copyrights than anything else (I was going to rip Rhapsody in Blue, fuck you very little Disney), they're the ones that sue you half the time anyway. How corporate copyrights last longer than individual ones is beyond me. I suppose it shouldn't be too big of a shock, though, it's not the first example of corporations having more rights than real people. Which, of course, is absolutely amazing for the future of our society.

Ugh. I feel like shit, I better not be getting sick. Everything from my head to my balls hurts.


Saturday, March 12, 2005

Sweating and Breathing and Staring and Thinking

I've been trying to deal with my feelings of guilt over my inactivity of late. I haven't been running or biking or doing shit for excercise lately and it's starting to get to me. Running and biking are good solid ways to relieve my stress, forget about the nagging thigs that I over-analyze over and over again, and basically just have a rock solid excuse to avoid responsibility.

Part of it's because I feel like I should be excercising more than not at all, but it's mostly because I keep slacking off or I'll start thinking about things too much. My tendency to overanalyze is giving me more aggravation than I know what to do with and I'm getting positively jumpy. I'm spacing out, fidgeting more than usuaul, and more prone to rolling over and not waking up on time.

From this I conclude I'm getting sick, I'm more sleep deprived than usual, midterms casued way too much stress, or I'm about to die.

It either one of those or I really, really, really need to get some.


Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Fades and Hooks

Retro stuff and nostalgia confuses me. Well, I should correct that: 80's retro from people my age confuses me. I guess I dont really understand the appeal of a culture we were too young to know anything about.

Nostalgia, though, that's the big, what what wha? To me: nostalgia is looking back at things in the past and desiring to be back in those times. I guess I find few things more depressing than someone who is so disatisfied with their current life that they would go back to a previous point in their life.

It's going to sound more cynical than it really is, but nostalgia just strikes me as a good prelude to killing yourself.

I've been a little terse lately, lack of time has been the biggest factor. I love midterms

I'm also exceedingly proud of this. Not my work, that credit belongs to Xopl, but it's my baby.


Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The Flaming Fingers Are the Other Candles

Arbitrary decisions piss the hell out of me.
"What's the justifcation for that again?"
I can't stand it. Making decisions for no reason other than, "I said so," is the most idiotic way to do things. Yes leadership is about making choices that may make people angry, but there's a second part to it that's also about convincing people you're right.

Fucking bullshit.


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Performance, Breach, and Discharge
(Contract Law is Dirty)

A long time ago - based on percentage of life lived - I decided that life was pointless (twelve and angst-ridden, what a time to be alive). Which isn't to say good things can't be accomplished or that life can't be enjoyable, it just means that there is no reason for existence.

Whenever I tell people, they usually look at me with apprehension, ask me if I'm okay, blah, blah, shit-eating-blah. I guess it's one of those mindsets that is usually associated with rampant depression, but I don't see it that way; in fact I think it makes me a hell of lot more secure.

To me: just because you have no reason to be alive and that most of your life is trivial doesn’t mean it's a waste or that you should just end it all. People I meet that discuss the reason they think they're alive (e.g. god's plan, do good things, serve others) seem uncertain of themselves and insecure about what they’ve accomplished. Setting some lofty purpose for your life just seems like you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. That's not to say having dreams and goals is a bad thing, but by declaring that this grand purpose is your reason for being alive means that every time you fuck up, you fail not only what you were doing, but the greater scheme of things as well.

Let's look at the classic mid-life crisis: people look back on their lives feel as though they've accomplished nothing and become little bags of whinny woe. Aside form being annoying and not healthy for anyone, I believe it's always because they want to think that they have some purpose for being here and if they can’t meet that purpose they shouldn't exist. Whereas me: I don't think I have a grand reason for being here, so if I don’t become the next big to-do (although I wouldn't mind, year-and-a-half dry spell for anything below the waist and all), I'm not going to feel like my life has been a waste. Moreover: if there's no point in being here, then someone owes me big time and I getting as much shit as I can out of this.

So, it's not that you can’t do big things or do things for others, it's just that it won't enact some sweeping change most of the time. Really, if you're struggling for a cause or doing something just to be remembered, then you aren’t really doing it for anyone except your self and fuck you.


Friday, March 04, 2005

We All Hate Eachother

In brief: I'm always fascinated by what the AP covers and what it tends to be a little slow on.

Discrepencies between internation coverage and national coverage is a common thing no matter what country you're in, but you'd think people would be down with this. Connies get someone new to hate, the rest of us get to feel better.


Thursday, March 03, 2005

Shop Smart, Shop S-mart.

I've come to a dillemma over arts and politcs, in particular the sheer awesomeness of M.I.A.. She's probably one of the more slick acts I've heard lately, but she's got a loose (read: difficult to prove, but it's pretty visible from conjecture) support for the Tamil Tigers.

As a revolutionary group goes, they aren't the worst (IRA, Cultural Revolution factions, pick your African rebel group, and other various South American groups come to mind), but they're right up there. We're talking the people who made suicide bombing a household name, who take revenge assassination to a whole new level, and who crush dissent so fast Putin could learn a few things. So, I feel more than sort of guilty listening to her music.

This isn't the first time either. I have problems listening to some of Immortal Techniques stuff for the same reason. Extreme politics bothers me from any side, but it's a weird, awkward thing when I like the artist's music a lot.

Is it ethical to listen to music of people who don't support the most human rights friendly politics?


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Mittens Are for Chumps, Now Give Me My Fucking Pie

My friend, Kyle, has proposed one the greatest ideas ever, but first, some background:

Standing ovations have become pandemic to the point of triviality. In fact: I would go as far as to say a standing ovation has no meaning anymore. In theory it supposed to be a big nod of appreciation; getting out of your seat because you liked something is pretty huge. Yet in practice: it's become identical to, "Way 2 Go," sticker your fifth grade teacher would put on your homework to make you feel better about your grades.

So, in order to counteract the loss of the meaningful standing ovation, Kyle has purposed that people be limited to five standing ovations in your life. Not only does this force standing ovations to become less common, and therefore, more valuable, it means we won't have those stupid seas of clapping people after three people stood up; if you didn't think a performance was that awesome, you can stay seated and no one will begrudge you.

To make sure that the five limit is maintained, he purposes that either collars or neck implants be used. After number five: your head explodes.

Artists know for sure that people really believed their performance was extraordinary. If someone's head explodes, then you know someone loved your work so much, they were willing to die to show their appreciation. This is a good system.

Cake is the inferior dessert.